Home > funny > Don’t read this if you’re eating.

Don’t read this if you’re eating.

Kid 5 had therapy today at home, and the therapists were expected around 1:45.

With about 2 minutes to spare, kid 4 took off running through the house to the bathroom door and yelled “Hurry, Mom!” So I did, but I was too late.

As my friend will tell you, never trust a fart. Kid 4 made that mistake.

So instead of taking her pants off carefully and slowly, she got it down to one ankle and started kicking. Poop went everywhere. All the way across the bathroom, on the shower, on the toilet, on her, on my pants, even on my glasses. It looked like I had a pet monkey.

Just as I was drying off my glasses, the doorbell rang. I had to take another five minutes to clean up the bathroom, and kid 5’s therapy had to be done with me in my pajama pants and kid 4 in panties and a shirt, because it was all I had handy.

I survived, and the bathroom  got cleaned whether I wanted it to get cleaned or not. It would’ve been nice not to have to wipe poop off my glasses, but it could always be worse. I could wear contacts.

Categories: funny
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