Long story short, I pulled a muscle in my back while having sex. I went to the walk-in clinic today to get it looked at and this is also the same health system where my husband works. I went into the exam room, etc, alone, so they may not realize it’s me, his wife. Then again, maybe they do. The doctor does know him. I know that for a fact. She can’t say anything, by law, but I bet she’d sure like to.

None of them would take hints for an answer. I guess they have to make sure there’s no domestic violence going on or anything. The doctor obviously has to know how the injury takes place but the receptionist, nurse, and x-ray tech really don’t. I still couldn’t be blunt enough to tell them to not worry about it, even though I know I do have that right. The conversation with each one, including the doctor, went like this.

Staff member: “So what’s going on?”
Me: “I hurt my back.”
Staff member: “Oh, did you fall.”
Me: “Nope. Didn’t fall.”
Staff member: “Well what happened?”
Me: “I hurt it  [then I whispered out of embarrassment] having sex with my husband.”

Not a one of them flinched. They must see it all the time. That, or they’re really good at not laughing in front of patients. The x-ray tech told me it doesn’t even phase her. I’m sure I was the only one phased by the story.

The doctor did ask what I do. I suppose she wanted to know if I needed a note for work. I told her I was a homemaker, and she asked how many kids. I told her five and she playfully jabbed me in the arm and said “You guys really need to quit having sex. It’s dangerous for you!” (I thought that was hilarious. I happen to love it when doctors act like real people.)

It’s hilarious how people elsewhere keep asking what happened and I know they’re completely unsuspecting. I am the one that brought up the back pain in the first place so it’s on me that they keep asking, but then I get embarrassed when I have to answer, and I can’t bring myself to lie about it.

To answer your question in more detail, it went from this:

To this: